CBS SF Bay Area broadcast a segment dedicated to SURF on the 6 o’clock news. You can read our story and view a video of the segment by clicking on the headline below.
It’s difficult to explain the transition back to our day to day lives after spending an intense week on a life changing journey. Some of us have been having a difficult time adjusting to our usual world. This piece was written by a friend of SURF. She did similar humanitarian work and was able to use these words to move past her pain and heartache. We hope you enjoy these beautiful words as much as we did.
Dearest friend, on your way home, from a life changing journey on the other side of the world,
You left on a mission to help others; you want to bring that back into your life, and cultivate it going forward. Keeping your heart open will be your greatest gift to others going forward, including when you go back into your “daily life”.
When you walk into the world of your comfortable “first world” environment, with such an incomprehensible amount of abundance all around you, you will invariably be shocked. You may feel totally amazed at how much even the poorest among us has, and astonished to hear anyone complain about lack, in any measure. You may feel angry, and annoyed, that so few people seem to really “get it”- numbed out in their comfortable lives and completely unaware of what else is happening for so many people in other parts of the world- for which, if they even got a glimpse, they would bow first in shame and then in prostration. In fact, it may be difficult for you to hear about anything that isn’t about being overwhelmingly grateful for life, or else isn’t a humanitarian crisis, because you’ve just gotten so close up and personal with the belly of life, in this way, that everything else pales in purpose. It would be easy, from this place, to close down, and shut yourself deep inside, away from the world, and to decide that no one can understand your experience who hasn’t just lived it. And it is true, many cannot. And, some can, so try to connect with those people, who also live a life on purpose, and are guided by the quests for truth and love at their core. Absolutely take care to share with people who will give you the space to feel however you feel, and who truly nourish you, and your feelings of well- being and peace.
And, most importantly, try to remember this one thing: we are all connected by a desire to be happy and to find peace. This is the one thing to remember if you remember anything as you walk into your life again. Make a point to look into the eyes of people around you, even those with rich lives but poor attitudes, and remember that everyone is breathing that same intention inside. Every single person is alive trying to find happiness and peace. The person being rude to the checker at the grocery store, acting entitled and impatient and harsh? She’s just wanting love, and has lost her connection to it, and is afraid. Her prickly anger is just her vulnerable fear, protected, fear that perhaps she’s somehow outside of Love. She’s not, just like you are not, when you also get lost. And you will get lost, being human. Sometimes we just take detours, but we never totally stray from the path. From this experience, you also just got way closer to that intention in your own life, to live from Love, and Truth, and have no doubt accessed that deeply. Undoubtedly this will be hard to hold onto, the expansiveness of the awareness you’ve gained. Don’t try to. Some of it will remain unalterably strong in your heart, some will temporarily fall away or become obscured. It’s still inside you. Never forget that. And when it appears to have fallen away, even for a short period, and you find your “first world problems” become part of your consciousness again, try not to judge yourself, or wince. This, too, is seasoning. To see the mind in all its facets, in one moment able to be connected to the belly of human life and suffering and vulnerability, then caught up in the trivialities of modern life in another moment- it is all, in fact, Life. May you accept that you are all these things, that you are not separate from anyone or anything, and that the vast range of these experiences are in fact, a reflection of the vastness itself that connects us all. No one left out. Nothing left out. Let it season you for the gratitude it can bring you right back into, just like that, a potent reminder of just how fortunate you are. But above all, don’t let it become a way to judge yourself or others, for this is the surest way to take you straight out of all that love you just tapped, and back into the darkness you wanted to alleviate by doing what you just did on this great journey. Instead, hold everything that arises in your mind and heart, with kindness. Each of your feelings is just another scared child, like the very ones you may have helped, no doubt, merely wanting your acceptance and love. When you remember that, you will come right back home to yourself. You are not guilty of anything. You are innocent. Including of difficult feelings and confusion. You don’t have to have it all figured out. You never will anyhow. Just return to kindness, over and over and over again, and forgive yourself for everything.
And lastly, please don’t judge your good fortune. Remember that all those beings you fell in love with and were helping, are also wanting a simple and comfortable life, themselves, with their basic needs taken care of, people to love, and safety. You have all this already. Being ashamed of it, or guilty about having it, is a denial of the very thing the people you helped, want for themselves. Deny it to yourself and you deny it to them. Cast it outside, and you cast them outside. This is their simple prayer for their lives. Make it your prayer for your life, too, that you have so much good fortune, so readily, and even more so now, because you are truly grateful for it. Your gratitude for your life is the greatest gift you can send out into the world. Keep the flame of your gratitude fire strongly lit, don’t let judgment, guilt or shame have a seat at your table, and join the chorus of humble satisfaction and joy that sings its song to the world with its quietly murmuring heart, every day.
-A friend of SURF
Wednesday night we purchased and distributed food and water to people waiting at the Port of Mitilini for their ferry off the island. So far SURF has sponsored 243 people, mostly children, on their way to asylum in Europe. We also gave a large donation to Better Days for Moria which will help that camp continue to support people once they arrive at Lesvos before they leave for Athens. The support they provide includes, shelter, new clothing, shoes, food and medical attention.
Tonight we made our way to the Port of Mitilini. Upon arrival, the volunteers, including SURF, handed out children’s toys, hats, gloves, blankets, hand warmers, snack bars, baby food, mandarins, oranges, water, hot meals, and a large vat of hot chocolate among other things. There were about 150 people waiting to get on the first ferry. I found a sweet Greek woman who had made a rice porridge dish, which smelled incredible. She needed help distributing it to the families waiting to make their journey across the Aegean sea.
Here I met a new friend, a man of curious nature. He was intrigued by my stories as a volunteer, and in return I was offered a glimpse into his family’s journey to Europe. His name was Farhad. He is 26 and traveling with his mother, and they do not want to leave their home country of Afghanistan. For the past 13 years he had been enjoying a prosperous life and building a solid career for himself. Highly educated, he spoke about his studies at the university, and shared stories about his time as the regional director for the British consulate in Afghanistan. Recently, the northern region of Afghanistan has been hit with a wave of Taliaban violence. He spoke of exceptionally brutal violence against women. He feared for his mother’s life everyday The counterinsurgency of Northern Afghanistan changed the fate of Farhad’s family and he was able to escape the presence of the Taliban and bring his mother to safety.
As an upper middle class male with a valid passport, something Farhad took great pride in, he was not used to having to deal with smugglers, travel illegally, and spend hours upon hours in boats, vacant buildings, and volunteer driven camps. Money is what drives the people’s survival. Money determines whether or not they are able to leave Afghanistan, stay safe during their travels, and provide for themselves when they arrive at their final destination. He spoke about his frustration with the process to become registered with FRONTEX. He spoke about his comfortable financial status, which, though higher than most people who leave Afghanistan, has not always guaranteed safe travel. He spoke about the lower income families in Afghanistan and how they are dying because they do not have the financial resources to flee.
Farhad and his mother had made three attempts to leave the shores of Turkey and travel to Lesvos, Greece. The first time they were taken advantage of by smugglers, and robbed of the money they used to secure a boat. The second time their boat broke down not long after leaving Turkey. They were picked up by the Turkish police, and detained for a couple days. The third time was successful. However, his mother broke her hand in the boat and needed medical attention once they landed. After one night in Lesvos we were now standing next to each other engaged in conversation on a personal level I have not had with someone in need since my arrival here a week ago. Just as he was wrapping up his story we were happily startled by the cheering and applauding all around us. In the distance we saw the night ferry drift away from the port and one more boat of people were on their way to safety. We both stood there silent, crying. He was one step closer to freedom, yet miles away from home.
The other night we did the evening shift at Better Days for Moria. I was curious if it would be different from the night shift, but it really wasn’t. I worked in distribution helping women and children find warm dry clothes. There were so many babies and children that night, so exhausted that several of them fell asleep on the bare floor in the changing tent, amid the chaos. One baby fell asleep face down and got buried under some coats. Her mom was busy trying to get her other baby clothed, and seemed so tired and overwhelmed. I moved the sleeping baby to the side, used a jacket for a pillow, and put a blanket on her. I was relieved when the family (4 small kids) was outfitted and ready to move on to sleep.
There was one kid that I totally fell in love with. He was maybe 9 or so. He was so sweet and eager to take care of everyone, and his smile was infectious. He kept stopping all the volunteers to enthusiastically say “merci!” then rushing over to help one of the other kids. I told him “merci” as well, because his energy and eagerness to help was such a blessing on a night when most of the other refugees seemed to be too tired to function.
I also heard about a couple that just found out they are pregnant. They were so happy that the father started to cry with joy. It was a reminder to me that life goes on, even in the midst of all this turmoil.
Yesterday I experienced my first emotional breakdown after a very long and stressful day. I finished my night shift around 9:00 a.m. and felt that I still had a lot of energy and I could keep going. I called a couple of Syrian independent volunteers who have been helping the refugees for the past few weeks to identify vulnerable families to help. I went to Moria to meet two large families, one from Iraqi and one from Syria. Both families had been stuck in the camp for almost three days because they did not have any money to continue their journey through Europe. The Iraqi family ran out of money after they paid the boat smugglers everything they had to cross the water from Turkey to Lesvos. The Syrian family got mugged while waiting in Istanbul to find a boat to take them to Lesvos, and they were only able to get here with the support and the generosity of independent donors. Refugees don’t get any financial aids from any governments or NGOs and rely on independent volunteers like us. So many get stuck on the island for days waiting for someone to buy them ferry tickets to get to Athens.
It was freezing cold, and one of the men had only a thin T-shirt on. I asked him why he was not given a jacket, and he replied that he was told that the NGO ran out of jackets. The man was carrying a toddler. When he realized that the child’s head was cold, he took off the only thing that kept him warm, a wool hat, and placed it on the toddler’s head. I was watching all that while internally processing and figuring out what to do to help this poor man and his family. I really wanted to let go of my emotions and burst into tears, but I realized this won’t help and might make this family uncomfortable, so I wiped the tears that escaped and ran down my cheeks and told him to wait for me. I went to other camp where we usually volunteer our time and I grabbed a jacket and went back to the family and gave the man the warm jacket and a wool hat that I had in my backpack. I would never forget the look in this man’s eyes and his words of appreciation. My heart instantly melted and I couldn’t stop my tears this time. Both families were put on the ferry to Athens and were provided with bus tickets from Athens to Macedonia using the donated money we received from all of you.
Later on I was walking near the ferry harbor and I found a single woman traveling with her nine year old daughter who had a similar story. The woman was in desperate need of a warm jacket and ferry and bus tickets, which were purchased using your donation money.
Early the evening of the same day, I was introduced to a man of Syrian descendant who left Syria 28 years ago. His name is Kastro, and his long story of fighting against the Syrian government and the support he provided to the Syrian residents of Greece and the refugees for many years will be shared with you all in a separate post. Kastro operates a solidarity house (where he also lives) for refugees with special needs in Lesvos, and when I met him that night he had 22 refugees at his house and 37 more at other locations. These refugees are mostly children, elders, and others who need medical attention. One specific Syrian refugee I met at Kastro’s house, Hussain, had a stroke shortly after his boat crashed at Lesvos’ shore that left him half paralyzed. He was at the hospital for about two months without any improvement, then the hospital had to let him go. No NGO would accept him, and all independent organizations on the island were full and did not have the capacity to take him, so Kastro took him to his place and took care of him. Hussain has diabetes and of course could not cook or feed himself due to paralysis. That night, I witnessed one of the most humanitarian and heart (and mind) opening behavior when I was interviewing Kastro at his house. While he was talking to me about the 59 refugees he was caring for, he was cooking a special meal for Hussain at the same time. Kastro then asked me to excuse him so he could go into the next room and feed Hussain.
The 58 refugees (59 less Hussain) were all put on the ferry and given bus tickets using your donation money. Hussain had to stay behind to complete his registration and refugee’s paper work, and to find a way to get to his final destination in Germany. No one knows how long this will take. To free up Kastro’s valuable time, your donation money paid for a nurse to bathe him, feed him and take care of his medical needs for one month.
I came home around 2:00 a.m. the next day, emotionally and physically drained. I was sharing my day’s stories with the SURF team when I suddenly broke down in a long burst of tears that came like spasms. I was so much in need of this release, and I am fortunate to be with my supportive team who held a loving and grounding space for me. Thank you Amy, Cindy, Kathryn, and Lisa for the hugs and words of comforts, I could never have done this without you.
All of this work is only possible with the generous support of donors like you. If you would like to contribute please go to https://syrianunitedrefugeefund.com.
All the donations we have spent so far have been given directly to people in dire need. We have been focusing on helping families and getting them unstuck from the system and on their way to freedom. We will continue looking for ways to make a direct impact in the systems, but what has emerged as an effective strategy right now is providing immediate financial support to families who need it most. Families who were robbed, misled, lost everything on their way, or simply don’t have enough money to complete their journey to Germany, Austria, or another viable country.
So far we have sponsored 179 people, more than half of them children, from Syria, Afghanistan, and Iraq. We have helped them get ferry tickets to Athens and on a bus to the border of Macedonia where they will continue their journey north.
Your money is making a real change in the lives of these families.
Please visit our How to Donate page to continue supporting the SURF mission.
Monday 3:30am: We arrived at the Port of Mitilini to serve hot chocolate, water, and fruit and distribute blankets to those waiting in the cold. There were about 400 people waiting to get on the ferry to Athens. Once in Athens, they will continue their long journey north. One ticket is 45 euros, and for those who cannot afford one for themselves or their families, it is common for a volunteer group to help them out. We helped to purchase tickets for several people this morning including a family with young children who would otherwise have been stranded.
This Map represents a person’s journey from Greece to Germany or Austria.
Port of Mitilini